Walt Disney once said, about making his animated features that, “for every laugh there should be a tear.” It’s funny because life is like that too sometimes… for every laugh there is a tear. I think I’ve been in the tear phase of my life.

Four months ago, I walked into work. Eight hours later, I shoved the last bit of my personal belongings into the trunk of my car and drove away for the last time.

No, I wasn’t fired, but the events of that day don’t deserve the dignity of being explained here. This was a job that had brought great personal triumph but at the expense of great personal sacrifice and pain. I know it sounds dramatic but it’s true… I’ve never been so profoundly impacted by any set of circumstances in my life… not even Disney. 😉

Three days before I lost that job… my typically 50 hour a week job and my primary source of income… I found out that my second job… my back-up, actually, for when my first job inevitably fell apart… would end in six weeks. Our store was closing its doors and there were no possibilities for relocation.

The following months would prove to be more trying, more stressful and more emotional than I could have ever imagined. I was jobless and hurt. I was on unemployment, something I never dreamed I would experience in my life.

And, just when I thouht things were calming down, I found myself at a court hearing with my former employers, fighting with everything in me to convey the truth. Eventually, I was called a liar, ruled against, and left questioning everything I had ever known to be true.

I had to say good-bye to some amazing people at an amazing store at my part-time job, which actually left a hole in me, deeper than I thought possible. I akwardly learned the ropes at a new job, and questioned every goal I’ve ever had for my life.

Now, four months later, I still know that, without a doubt I did the right thing, but I’m just learning to laugh again. You know, they always say that God didn’t promise us a perfect life, just to be with us during the rough spots. Apparently Walt Disney knew that was true. For every smile there is bound to be a tear. For every joy, a sorrow. Maybe that’s what makes life so rich though… If we didn’t know pain, how would we know the joy of Disneyland?! 😉

If I hadn’t lived through the last three years of, what is now “affectionally” called, my “old life” how would I know that there was a bigger, better world out there? How would I know that there is a stronger person in me than I could have ever imagined?

Okay, so calling this a Disney post might be a bit of a stretch, but it is my first step toward reconnecting with the writing part of me that was so predominant in my old life but that I have tried to bury in my new life. I’m ready to move on now, to let go, to breath. So, bring on the laughs and the tears… I’m ready.

Well, it has been quite a week around here and a great time to recap it all in a Fantasmic Five Friday!

1. I’ve been reading lots of reports about all the rain at Disneyland and thinking about how cranky one day of moderate rain made me during my last trip… YIKES! I would hate to be around me if I was vacationing during this monsoon! 🙂
2. I just wrote a post about Peter and the Sword of Mercy, then I stayed up half the night to finish reading it! Haha, it really is a must-read… a seamless transition from the original Peter and the Starcatchers trilogy.
3. I’ve been researching lots of different vacation options for 2010… I wish I could afford them all! For now, I’m hoping for one trip to Disneyland this year and one, long overdue, trip to Walt Disney World. Wishful thinking? Maybe… but I’ll keep you all posted 😉
4. If we are friends on Twitter, you know that I have recently found myself jobless. It’s quite an adventure to be embarking on… I feel a little unprepared, so if anyone wants to send some pixie dust my way, I wouldn’t protest 😉
5. My seemingly never-ending health saga continues with a trip to the neurologist on Monday… What a way to start the week! Thinking happy thoughts for a good report 🙂

I’m reading the latest in the Peter and the Starcatchers series – by Ridley Pearson and Dave Barry – right now, and I can honestly barely put it down to write a blog post 🙂  At the D23 Expo, I had the opportunity to attend a session with Ridley Pearson, in-person, and Dave Barry, via satellite.  It was awesome.  Ridley is the consummate charismatic thriller writer and Dave was just as hysterical as I had imagined he would be.  I think my favorite part of the session, though, was watching the interplay between the two writers and their description of how they pass back different portions of the Starcatchers novels when they are looking for different moods in the book.

When the story line calls for a dark, ominous sequence with Ombra, a shadow thief, Ridley steps in and takes the reigns… but when the intensity gets to be a little too much, the chapter volleys back to Dave who infuses his special brand of humor.  And so the story goes, so to speak.  While the novel hasn’t lost its flow for me, I can pick out distinctly different styles as I read and know exactly who wrote them after hearing the authors talk about the books.  I think, actually, that adds to the charm for me.

As an English major and an aspiring novelist, I tend to read with a different set of eyes than if I were purely reading for pleasure.  I am constantly trying to pick up on techniques and strategies that make novels enjoyable and I think that being able to pinpoint the personality of a specific author is a lot like one of Peter’s own treasure-hunting adventures.

Technique aside, the Starcatchers series is unprecedented – in my opinion – for pushing young adult fiction past the line for its genre, making the distinction blurred as to whether children or adults will enjoy the novel more… this is my kind of book.  There is something about the Harry Potters and Twilights of the world that captivate audiences of all ages.  Peter and the Starcatchers achieves this same effect, and, honestly, it disappoints me that these amazing books have not received the same acclaim as the wizards and vampires that bear the same appeal.

Disney fans and Peter Pan fans of any age will be mesmerized by the seamless blending of Ridley and Dave’s prequel to the classic tale of the boy who wouldn’t grow up… if you ever wondered how Peter Pan met Wendy, Tinker Bell, and the like, you definitely won’t be disappointed with the Starcatchers.

It is also a great pleasure for me to know that the authors behind these wondrous works are the kind of people that, not only can I respect, but would feel completely comfortable with my children holding them in high regard.  It was a wonderful moment when I settled back in my seat at D23 and listened to Dave and Ridley weave the tale of how they became partners in the daunting task of telling the backstory of Sir James Barrie’s timeless work, and watching them do so with such child-like abandon that they weren’t afraid to don their own pairs of Mickey Ears just for the occasion.

I’ve been waiting nearly 30 years to visit Disneyland during the holiday season.  This year it finally happened… and it was everything I had ever hoped it would be.

My only complaint? Rain on Day One…

It’s true… I was a scrooge on Day One.  Okay, so maybe I was a little more than a scrooge when the plane touched the tarmac and the sky was black and the rain was pouring down.  I hated the rain, I hated the airline I used to fly into John Wayne airport, and I especially hated my bright, yellow poncho.  People actually came up to me to tell me how amazing that ridiculous poncho was because it came from Disneyland Paris.  Yes, anything from Disneyland Paris is cool, but it was just a beacon in the crowd that reminded me it had also been raining in Paris.

When it rains at home, I love it.  Rainy summer days are my favorite… when it is warm and a little gray outside.  I love to curl up with a book and a blanket and watch it rain.  I love the way the rain sounds when it hits the windows and trickles down the drains.  But, if I’m at the Happiest Place on Earth… well, it’s just plain supposed to be sunny.

But when Sunday morning (Day Two) dawned, the clouds floated away, the sun broke through the sky, the magic was back in all of its splendor.  Let me tell you, when the clouds broke and the sweet, warm rays of Disneyland sunshine beat down on my expectant face… the window to my soul opened up and let the goodness that is Disney Magic flood in.

It was a really good moment.  My mom and I sat on Main Street eating pumpkin muffins… much better than the ones at the local muffin store, here in Denver… and watched the sun sizzle on the pavement, drying up the last remaining drops of Saturday’s deluge.  And, that was pure magic.

The next 3 days were a whirlwind of activities to cross off my bucket list and others that I never even dreamed I could be a part of.  The Disneyland Christmas Parade… check!  It’s a Small World Holiday… check!  A second year of Haunted Mansion Holiday… check!  Not to mention meeting Princess Tiana and Prince Naveen and watching Princess Tiana’s Showboat Jubilee… or eating Candy Cane Cupcakes in the hotel room, a mysteriously wonderful, complimentary upgrade to a theme park view at the Paradise Pier, or watching World of Color testing from that hotel room window.

Christmas was a little lackluster for my family this year, so my mom and I reveled in this opportunity to fully immerse ourselves in Disney Christmas Magic.  And, just like those Sunday morning rays of Disneyland, this trip was a shining bright moment in the season.  I have been dealing with some major health issues in the past couple of months, and that coupled with some extreme work stress, abnormal financial woes, and unforeseen problems with our house that caused quite an uproar in our family caused an abrupt and unexpected snafu in our normal holiday fun.

Needless to say, I’ve been holding on tightly to the magic and the memories that we made in Disneyland.  In fact, those sunshiny rays beating down on my face that chilly December morning in California have been the pulse beating through my veins and helping me keep my sanity during this stormy season in my life.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how we, as fragile humans, cope with undue stress in our lives… I think there is something to be said for faith, trust, and pixie dust… as well as a good heart-to-heart with my Creator.  But, how do we navigate through the rain and clouds, side-step the drowning puddles, and end up with that precious sun beating down on our faces?  Perhaps I’m rambling, but these memories that keep me going have led me to question some of the deepest beliefs in my life.  All I can think about these days is finding a way to recapture those rays of Disneyland in my everyday life… a deep-seeded hope that they could lift this rain from my life and dry up any remaining drops of pain.

I know I don’t have the answers to any of these questions.  But I do know that somehow this Disney Magic that we Disney fan(atic)s believe in has a lasting effect on our souls.  It’s more than attractions, or fireworks, or even crossing the Christmas Parade off our bucket lists.  Somehow, it’s a feeling that we gain when we let the magic shine on our souls and renew our spirits.

1. I feel the need for a serious dose of pixie dust this week… wouldn’t it be great if the doctor could prescribe that?  Instead of tests and needles and dead-ends, they just give you a little sprinkle of pixie dust and everything is okay again.
2. I was diagnosed this week with Fibromyalgia.  I don’t even know what to do with that information.  I’m still waiting for the test results for possible other things that might be wrong with me… I’m kind of numb, still processing it all I guess.
3. I found out about National Novel Writing Month a few days after November 1st and, without outlines or characters or really even a plan, I signed up and started writing.  The goal is 50,000 words by the end of November.  I am hopelessly behind but proud of myself for finally taking a leap and putting pen to paper on an actual novel.
4. Just 21 days and about 10 hours until I step onto an airplane and fly away to Disneyland for a quick 4-day weekend filled with holiday splendor.  This is, quite honestly, a dream come true… I can’t even imagine what it will be like to see the halls decked Disney-style.
5. The Disney Character Warehouse opened just a couple miles from my house yesterday and I can guanrantee it is the best thing that has happened to me this week… I can already see my holiday budget draining into the Disney outlet 😉

It was so amazing getting see some props from the upcoming Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland at the D23 Expo. 🙂

The La Brea Bakery for dinner, listening to the sounds of Downtown Disney, watching the decidely fantastic chaos of the World of Disney, and a bushel of sparkling, night-time Mickey balloons… life is good.

I’m sure everyone has their own strange traditions when visiting Disneyland… I’m also equally sure that mine border on psychosis… When I go to Disneyland, I check in to the magic and check out of the real world. That means that, typically much to my mom’s chagrin, that nothing but the Disney channel will play on the hotel room TV for the duration of our trip.

My mom has been my Disney traveling companion for about 20 years now and she’s used to my… um… idiosyncrasies… So, over the years we’ve spent a lot of time watching the Disney channel in our hotel room. Granted there isn’t a lot of time to be spent in the room, I am one of those people who needs the background noise… so any time spent in the room means the TV is on. We’ve watched Disney Channel movies, TV show premiers, and, even, the occasional Playhouse Disney morning marathon. We’ve also discovered some gems that we’ve carried with us long after the vacations are over. One such favorite is Wizards of Waverly Place.

As such, when we found out that the Wizards were going to be at the D23 Expo, we were giddy.  And, when the time came, we lined up with about 3,000 screaming teens, tweens, and kiddos to enter the auditorium for a little Q&A with the stars and creators of this Emmy-Winning sensation.  What ensued was a rather surreal blend of bedlam and laughter and heartfelt emotion and just about everything in between.  Not only did we hear from the stars, but Disney Channel screened the season premier of Wizards a few weeks before it aired on TV.  The crowd was outrageously out of control in expressing their love for these young stars, which seemed to only add to the charm of event.  The best part was, each of the show’s stars were genuine and thankful and gracious… it was a really heart-warming moment to experience.  It was good to see that my television escape from reality translated to teen stars that deserved the fame in “real life.”

And so it goes that some Disney traditions come full circle and the neurotic little things we do to keep the magic alive and well don’t seem quite so neurotic when you get to peek behind the curtain at the magic behind the magic.

Effects courtesy of Picnik.com