For every laughWalt Disney once said, about making his animated features that, “for every laugh there should be a tear.” It’s funny because life is like that too sometimes… for every laugh there is a tear. I think I’ve been in the tear phase of my life.

Four months ago, I walked into work. Eight hours later, I shoved the last bit of my personal belongings into the trunk of my car and drove away for the last time.

No, I wasn’t fired, but the events of that day don’t deserve the dignity of being explained here. This was a job that had brought great personal triumph but at the expense of great personal sacrifice and pain. I know it sounds dramatic but it’s true… I’ve never been so profoundly impacted by any set of circumstances in my life… not even Disney. ;-)

Three days before I lost that job… my typically 50 hour a week job and my primary source of income… I found out that my second job… my back-up, actually, for when my first job inevitably fell apart… would end in six weeks. Our store was closing its doors and there were no possibilities for relocation.

The following months would prove to be more trying, more stressful and more emotional than I could have ever imagined. I was jobless and hurt. I was on unemployment, something I never dreamed I would experience in my life.

And, just when I thouht things were calming down, I found myself at a court hearing with my former employers, fighting with everything in me to convey the truth. Eventually, I was called a liar, ruled against, and left questioning everything I had ever known to be true.

I had to say good-bye to some amazing people at an amazing store at my part-time job, which actually left a hole in me, deeper than I thought possible. I akwardly learned the ropes at a new job, and questioned every goal I’ve ever had for my life.

Now, four months later, I still know that, without a doubt I did the right thing, but I’m just learning to laugh again. You know, they always say that God didn’t promise us a perfect life, just to be with us during the rough spots. Apparently Walt Disney knew that was true. For every smile there is bound to be a tear. For every joy, a sorrow. Maybe that’s what makes life so rich though… If we didn’t know pain, how would we know the joy of Disneyland?! ;-)

If I hadn’t lived through the last three years of, what is now “affectionally” called, my “old life” how would I know that there was a bigger, better world out there? How would I know that there is a stronger person in me than I could have ever imagined?

Okay, so calling this a Disney post might be a bit of a stretch, but it is my first step toward reconnecting with the writing part of me that was so predominant in my old life but that I have tried to bury in my new life. I’m ready to move on now, to let go, to breath. So, bring on the laughs and the tears… I’m ready.

© 2010, Rays of Disneyland. All rights reserved.

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